Eastern Iowa Community Colleges is excited to announce a new option in our Veterinary Technician program – Elder Care for Pet Lizards.

The Elder Care Program for Pet Lizards is a specialized curriculum designed to provide compassionate and tailored support to our reptilian companions as they gracefully age. Just like humans, our scaly friends deserve the best care during their golden years. Whether your pet lizard is a wise old gecko or a venerable bearded dragon, this program ensures their twilight days are filled with comfort, enrichment, and lizard-friendly activities.

Course offerings will include:

  • Learn how to set up cozy basking areas with infrared lamps, heated rocks, and sunbathing ledges.
  • Understand the importance of maintaining optimal temperatures for joint health and lizard well-being.

  • Dive into the world of senior lizard diets.
  • Explore soft foods, vitamin supplements, and calcium-rich treats.
  • Discover the art of hand-feeding for those finicky eaters.

  • Join our lizard-friendly yoga sessions.
  • Master poses like “The Curled Tail,” “Sun Salutation on a Rock,” and “Serpentine Stretch.”
  • Enhance flexibility and reduce stiffness.

  • Take your elderly lizard on a nostalgic journey through their terrarium.
  • Reminisce about favorite hiding spots, sunbathing nooks, and the great cricket hunts of yesteryears.

  • Bond with fellow lizard enthusiasts.
  • Share stories of your pet’s glory days and exchange tips on arthritis-friendly climbing structures.

  • Guided sunbathing sessions with soothing classical music.
  • Optional cucumber eye masks for relaxation.

  • Pamper your pet with gentle scales exfoliation.
  • Nail trims (for those who still have claws).
  • Aromatherapy with scents like “Desert Rain” and “Crickets at Dusk.”

  • “Lizard Life After Shedding: Coping with Wrinkles”
  • “Senior Lizards and Their Favorite Rock Memoirs”
  • “Navigating Retirement: From Desert Dunes to Cozy Logs”

Graduation Requirements

To earn your “Elder Care Specialist” certificate, students must:

  1. Successfully complete all coursework.
  2. Write a heartfelt letter to their pet lizard expressing gratitude for their companionship.
  3. Organize a lizard-friendly retirement party with miniature party hats and cricket cupcakes.

Career Opportunities

Graduates of this program can pursue careers as:

  • Lizard retirement home administrators
  • Geriatric lizard therapists
  • Authors of lizard self-help books (working titles: “Zen and the Art of Shedding” and “The Lizard’s Guide to Aging Gracefully”)

APRIL FOOL'S!

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